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Be Busy Chasing the Right Things in Life.

Be Busy Chasing the Right Things in Life.

Lets face it, letting life get too busy is extremely easy to do.

We need to make money or we lose our things, or don’t end up accumulating things in the first place. As we accumulate more things and relationships, this means more responsibility.

Jobs need to be maintained to make money. Also, our families, our homes, our toys, need maintenance to keep them from falling apart.

All the responsibility a successful life brings can be intensely pressurized! 

But pressure or not, I enjoy having both nice things and healthy relationships. Even though having both of these can be a challenge, it is entirely possible to balance it all out.

Being Busy Chasing the Wrong Things is not Good for My Health.

First of all, I don’t think there is anything wrong with having nice things..

But I tell you what.. As much as I desire having these things around to take care of my wants and needs, healthy relationships are much more important.

In all actuality, the things I bring into my life are only useful in so far as they enhance the growth of my closest relationships. That and they are within my means to maintain them. Meaning I have the time, energy, and money!

Honestly, I am going to have to say that if the things chased or acquired are not useful and are outside of my means, then they really aren’t that nice at all!

Don’t get me wrong, there are many things that are outside of my means that I would adore having. But giving too much attention to these things, is horrible for all areas of my Mental and Emotional Health.

With a mind like mine, it’s too easy to get wrapped up in the not having the things I desire. All the while, being disconnected from all the beautiful things I already have in my life.

Being disconnected, even ungrateful for my current situation is a cause for unnecessary stress and mental obsession.

Stress Busy

If I am Going to be Busy it Needs to be with Chasing the Right Things!

I have some pretty amazing things in my life these days! These things work wonderfully to enhance my closest relationships.

The work that needs to be done to maintain these things and relationships alone can sometimes be overwhelming. My wife and I work incredibly hard to keep what we have in good repair.

To be chasing too many things and relationships I don’t already have can leave my current belongings and relationships with less time for maintenance. With less maintenance means more relationship wear and tear. As well more opportunity for relationship break down.

So if I am going to be spending time dreaming big about my next things, relationships, opportunities, I sure as hell better make sure that my “house is in order.”

Having my house in order means that I do not leave my relationships and belongings too needy.

So if the car or house are breaking down, I need to get them fixed. And of course, if there are pressing issues with my wife that is causing relationship strain, that needs attention ASAP,

The same goes for all relationships that currently make up my foundation!

To be day dreaming about a bunch of new life experiences while my foundation is in shambles, now that is just plain silly. It is also a clear sign of DENIAL.

I doubt I am the only one here that lets there priorities get out of whack. Lets see if you can relate with this list. If you can then you may be a little guilty as well!

Busy Priority

Here are some signs that show we’re BUSY getting our priorities out of whack.

  1. Procrastinating what should be taken care of.
  2. Giving more of our minds to what we want to buy than our close relationships.
  3. Spending far too much time staring aimlessly at our phones.
  4. Feeling like our healthy relationships are some burden to bare.
  5. Day dreaming too much at work.

Is it ever responsible to be busy

My philosophy on the subject is that if the relationships are not too needy, then we are safe to dream big about what we currently do not have.

But if we are in Imagination Land while things are falling apart around us, THEN WE NEED TO WAKE UP. Wake up and come back to reality!

Our lives need us! That goes for the lives we are currently living, and the lives that we are set to attract.

But it all starts from taking great care of our current situation, relationships and belongings. Which also builds a solid foundation to support all of the new things and relationships that will be coming.

Okay, so I began this article talking about chasing things. Now I hope it clear to you that I believe we first need to “chase” a solid foundation for our lives. We need to chase that solid relationship with our selves, families, jobs, current belongings.

Busy with Relationships

We need to put in the hard work to take care of exactly where we are at. And then and only then can we responsibly chase down anything else!

Here are some thought provoking tips to help Busy ourselves responsibly.

  1. Spend ample time with our closest relationships.
  2. Take good care of our own bodies.
  3. Have a Gratitude practice.
  4. Look to create value for our relationships.
  5. Meditate or just take time to breathe and turn away from our thoughts.
  6. Discuss expenditures with everybody that will be effected.
  7. Ensure current belongings are well maintained.
  8. Don’t spend money frivolously.
  9. Pay attention!
  10. Turn off the Cell Phone from time to time.

Be Busy Being Well.

It is amazing what building a solid foundation in my life does for my mental and emotional state.

I don’t always follow my own advice perfectly, or even very well at times. But I do know that this works!

Developing healthy relationships with the people and things in my world is no mystery to me anymore. I know how to do this. But if it feels like a mystery to you, then I hope reading and applying what you’ve read here helps you immensely!

The most joyous times I have are when I look at my life and know that my hard work helped make all this happen. That my commitment to be good to what I have and the relationships I have developed, have made life amazing.

Not only that, but it has made life just a little better to all of my relationships!

Thank you so much for stopping in to My Life Experiment today. If you enjoyed what you read then I would like you to do a couple things for us!

  1. Please share this article on your Social Media.
  2. Join our email list, which will get you a copy of our Therapeutic Writing Guide, and have our new posts sent directly to your email.
  3. Follow the conversation on our Facebook Page!

Best of luck to you with building your relationship foundation. But remember, don’t spend too much time day dreaming about the future, if the present is too messy!

 

Much Love,

Travis Hagen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Finding Our Genius Through Social Comparison.

“Everyone is a genius. But If you judge a fish by Its ability to climb a tree, it will live Its whole life believing that it is stupid,”

Albert Einstein

einstein.jpg

I immediately enjoyed this quote when I first found it some years back. I enjoy it because it has deep truth for me. On some level it seems like it would have to have some meaning for everybody.

I was lost for many years, judging where I was in my life compared the people around me. With the years I spent getting my butt handed to me dealing with addiction, I watched a lot of people “grow up.” All the while, my life was backsliding into oblivion.

I remember clearly, wondering how people could get up and go to work every day! It blew my mind that people continually just went on with there lives day after day after day. All the while these people were not needing to use chemicals the way I did. I couldn’t fathom how they did this.

Today it isn’t as much of a mystery to me how people show up their lives day after day. I have been doing this quite well for the last 9 years in recovery. But when I couldn’t fathom it, I felt very stupid for not being able.

In the last 9 years I have had a great deal of success, accomplishing many things. I am not left wondering how people get up and go to work day after day, because now I do this!

Social Comparison

Even though I have had more success than I could have imagined before I made it to recovery, this social comparison piece of my brain is still busy, often!

It is way too easy to focus on people around me, see what they are up to in their lives, and judge my situation accordingly. If I envy what they are doing, I may get the feeling of being inferior to them. And if I don’t envy them, I may get the feeling that I am superior.

This tendency to compare can get excruciatingly annoying, especially when I see someone’s coming out in an area that mine does not. But I also don’t feel good when I get the feeling of being better than someone.

Letting Social Comparisons go to my head really is a double-edged sword. It is difficult to win either way!

I don’t feel that either of these conclusions are ACTUALLY correct. It is pure habit. I am no better or worse than anyone else. And it is possible to not get stuck in the feelings of superiority or inferiority.

From Social Comparison to Learning New Skills

There is something good to be taken out of the act of comparing ourselves to others. I just have to be more mindful of how I interpret the data!

What I mean by this is that when I am seeing someone as better than me, that doesn’t actually mean they are better than me. It just may be an area where they shine, and I do not.

I think envy has a way of showing me what I desire though. If I didn’t have an interest in an activity, I wouldn’t have envy and I wouldn’t care if someone shines more than me. Getting over my self, I can actually see if this person will teach me what they know!

In recovery I have been taught that if I want something that someone has, then I better be willing to make the effort to get it.

Go get it ,or drop it and move on to something else, since resentment is a go nowhere proposition for me.

brain train.png

So, if I want to learn how to be a great leader or run a successful online business, or whatever else I desire to learn, then I better seek out information from those whose genius shows in these areas! I better do the research, follow directions, do the work, then rinse and repeat until the desire is manifested.

We all Have our Own Abilities

If after all that time and effort the dream doesn’t manifest, then it is possible that I was chasing the wrong dream. Maybe that is me being a fish that is trying to climb a tree!

I don’t think it is likely that we are all going to jump right into the activities that puts our genius on display. Though some people do!

If you are anything like me, finding the outlets for personal genius is a process of elimination. Meaning that I make attempts at multiple areas to succeed in, and through the process I wean out what is not for me. I also narrow down where my genius is likely to shine!

Either way, even though my genius doesn’t show in an area doesn’t mean that any extra skills I pick up won’t be useful!

 

In Conclusion

Everyone has their genius level areas! I tell myself this when I catch myself thinking I am superior to others skills. Also reminding myself of my own genius when I am feeling inferior to the skill of others.

On my good days, I am able to give others and myself the benefit of the doubt. Meaning that I choose to say that just because I am not seeing others or my own genius in action, that doesn’t mean that it isn’t there. I am just not seeing it!

I know that there is always more to the story. There is always more potential genius laying in wait in all the people I surrounded by. And there is always more potential genius in myself!

Today I am even closer to recognizing my genius areas than yesterday, mainly because I have taken the time to investigate it in front of all of you! 

Thank you for stopping in to be reminded of the genius that exists in the world and in yourselves! If you enjoyed what you read, please give this post a share on your social media!

Also to stay connected to My Life Experiment through your email, and to receive a copy of our Free Therapeutic Writing Guide, then sign up for our email list on the sidebar. 🙂

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Much Love,

Travis H

 

 

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